pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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