Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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