Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
she pinky promised me she was 18
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
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