you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
