I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Randomize
