Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
