I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
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