what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
