Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
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