I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
