I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
