Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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