If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
