I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
Randomize