Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
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