Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
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