guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
