I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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