I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
