I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
