Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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