FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Randomize
