I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Randomize
