the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Randomize
