all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
Randomize
