She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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