the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
