would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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