Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
