I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
i think my mom watched the whole time
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Randomize
