he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
