i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
Randomize
