I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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