I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
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