Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
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