i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
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