Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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