If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
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