Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
everyone is single if you try hard enough
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Randomize