My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
Randomize