his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
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