I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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