I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
where does the pee come out of this thing
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Randomize
