Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Randomize
