C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
She said her name was "party"
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
