Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Randomize