have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
