Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
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