bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
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