is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
Randomize
