i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
