Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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