That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Randomize
