so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
Randomize
