At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
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