I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Randomize