Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
