Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
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