i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
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