that's an acceptable place to lick
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
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