I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize
