pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
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