Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Randomize
