Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
We smell like vodka and hangover
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