I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Is Oprah even human
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Randomize
