speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
