Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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