To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
